Nicole Kutz

As humans we attempt to hold onto existence and prolong the inevitable, yet it is only through accepting our lack of control that we can live fully. Painting has enabled me to accept this truth.

While living in Los Angeles through 2020, I became particularly impacted by the wildfires, as I watched the areas that had inspired my art succumb to disaster. My current series addresses anxiety felt from that environmental stress and ties it with female vulnerability. I drew the parallel while I was running along a trail and became panic-stricken as I reimagined all the warnings of what can happen to a girl who runs alone or at night. As I realized I was projecting my fears onto the landscape, I became aware of the reality of this same landscape surrendering to the wildfires ravaging California. It raised the question: why do I instinctively feel afraid and how has that been ingrained into my gender?

The red scenes throughout the area and media began seeping into my artmaking in the forms of red trees or landscapes, signifying the suffocation I felt overtaking us. In my larger works on paper, I reference that ominous red, while also eliciting the same unease I felt when I was running through the woods. Although I was surrounded by beauty, it all felt sinister because of my perspective.

I feel women are often conditioned to be afraid as a survival tactic. As I continue making this work, I realize this fear is shared by Mother Earth, as she too feels the constant threat of aggression experienced by most women. Yet for all the ominous insinuations, these paintings are imbued with power and strength, reminding us of the ability of nature – and humans – to change course, adapt and overcome.

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